with Confidence, Self-Compassion & Self-Worth

Lead

There comes a time in all of our lives where we begin to sense that the only thing holding us back is us.

 

It’s a realisation of our own limitations, fears, beliefs and worries that can hold us back from doing the things we want to do, living the life we want to live and making the difference in the world we want to make.

 

We believe deep down that the problem is inside us and not out. Though we may protest this vehemently. The truth is that we just don’t want others to know this about us.

Because the thing is, we’ve been carrying all of this with us for a long time. It’s not new stuff, it’s routine stuff often that we’ve been witness to many times before. And it frustrates and upsets us every time.

Why can’t I just….?

What’s wrong with me…?

 

How come others can….?

 

I know I could do this but…. something is standing in my way.

If you ever feel like this, please don’t feel alone. This is a common internal dialogue for many people.

 

They just don’t often tell you this face to face. Because let’s face it, they don’t really want you to know...

 

It’s like a ‘shameful’ little secret that people carry, feeling 'not good enough' and thinking few others feel the same…

 

Imposter syndrome is no different. Many people I’ve worked with over the years have experienced this in one way or another to varying degrees. People describe it to me like this.

"I try so hard, I work so hard, but I just worry that something is going to go wrong and people are going to realise… I’m just not as good at this as I portray. It’s only a matter of time before people find out and that scares me…"

But the thing is, others aren’t nearly as focused on the things we get ‘wrong’ as we are.

 

Most people are looking for us to succeed.

At work, our boss most likely wants us to succeed - because it's good for the organisation and makes them look good. At home, our family wants us to succeed because they want us to be happy. In life, people want us to succeed because most people just want others to be going about their daily lives productively and contributing to the world in meaningful ways.

 

People don’t want to see you fail. Most of the time they are so focused on themselves that they'd barely even notice if you did.

 

The only person focused on failure is you. You notice your mistakes, you notice your slip ups and your so called ‘weaknesses’ and become stuck on them…

 

Yet, I know that in your heart this is not what you want. And it’s not who you are. Who you are is miraculous and uniquely perfect already, but you’re holding yourself to some unrealistic and unrelenting standards that just aren’t working for you.

You expect yourself to be strong yet sensitive. You expect yourself to be warm yet assertive. You expect yourself to be a jack of all trades AND the master of them all as well!

 

You are holding yourself back by OVERWHELMING yourself with all you expect and all you imagine you ‘should' be doing or that is wanted from you.

 

You overwhelm yourself with worry, thinking, 'What if this all comes tumbling down… where will I be then?'

 

And you never, ever really feel 'good enough'. Even though deep down you also know that you ARE!!!

 

You see the thing is, we carry many different beliefs about ourselves which have been shaped over a life time of growing up, learning, socialising and life experiences which both support and hinder us as we move forward.

 

And these parts of us are CONFUSING!!!

 

But there are really only two elements flowing through the beliefs we hold. They are based either in FEAR or LOVE. So what do we choose?

 

Are we perceiving through a fear lens and holding ourselves (and sometimes others) captive to this? Or are we perceiving through a lens of LOVE and allowing our continued growth, joy and expansion?

 

Which do you think will bring you the life you love? Which do you think will free you of anxiety? Which do you think will enable you to move forward in the way you dream of? Which do you think will help you make the difference in the world you want to make? Which do you think will bring you joy and peace internally?

 

You want love. I want love. We all want love.

Not love in a romantic sense, necessarily, but in a UNIVERSAL sense. We want things to unfold in ways that feel good. We want to bring joy to the world. We want to feel free and unhindered by fears, worries and anxiety. And we want to feel confident and good about the person we are and the way we operate in the world. Don’t we?

 

It’s not that we want to bury our heads in the sand or hide from ‘reality', far from it. It’s that we want to bring love in good times AND in bad. It’s just that we don’t always know which is which, and it is THIS confusion that causes us to feel bad.

 

BUT it’s much simpler than we think. 

Love is easy to bring, when we LET GO of our fear.

When we LET GO of self-doubt, overthinking and worry - we get to the heart of WHAT we want, we get to the heart of HOW we want to be and we find clarity and peace of mind and a path forwards towards the life about which we dream.

 

Because ANYTHING is possible in this space of love. And NONE of it is possible in the space of fear.

 

So which will it be for you? And how will you know when you find this perception of love?

 

It will be through the clarity! Through the good feelings, through the confidence and the inner knowing that you’re on the right path. you’ll know exactly what to do and when to do it, and you’ll move forward confidently.

 

Love is certainty. It is centeredness. It is peace. It is all these things and more...

 

Most importantly of all, LOVE IS YOU! You ARE LOVE. And the journey you are taking now, through all the fear, doubt and worry, is a simply a process of remembering this.

 

Here's a FREE Self-Coaching Activity to help you hear what's in your heart and move forward with clarity and confidence.

Coach Yourself to Clarity 2020-1.png

What other resources may be of value to you...

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Podcast/Video

Programs

A BIG thanks for continuing to support our page! 

Enjoy!

Em 💛

Some more resources to assist you lead yourself with 

Confidence, Self-Compassion & Self-Worth

PODCAST EPISODES

Free to Be Me

 

Journaling Your Way to Transformation

 

You already have all you need within you

Let's celebrate the amazing leaps we've all taken in 2020!

What story can you re-tell yourself that's been holding you back?

Are you making things harder on yourself than they need to be?

What is self-coaching and how can it help me?

Why Would You Use a Coach and How to Know if You Need One!

Coach Yourself to Clarity from Uncertainty.

Is It Time to Let Go?

How Are You Showing Up as Leader in Challenging Times?

If all you want, need and desire is waiting for you then what are you waiting for?

What is your 'stuckness' costing you?

BLOG POSTS

You Already Have All You Need

There's no one RIGHT WAY. There's YOUR way

Honouring Yourself In Good Times and Bad

Free to Be Me! Reclaim Parts of Yourself You've Disowned and Shine Like Only You Can!

Put Your Air Mask On First, So You Can Help Others with Theirs Too

How Much Time Do You Put Into Feeling Good?

The power of questions

Are you misreading between the lines?

Is it time for you to stop overthinking and move forward with confidence?

Are you HEARD or are you part of the HERD?

How Indecision is Hijacking Your Forward Momentum!

What messaging are your repeating to yourself that's holding you back?

Who do you need to be to achieve your goals?

Where there's a will, there's a way.

COACHING PROGRAMS

Free to Be Me

Create Lead Live

Return to You

A BIG thanks for continuing to support my page! 

I really hope you enjoy all the resources I've created to help you Create Lead & Live the life of your dreams!

Em xo

PS. If you have questions, comments or would like to work with me, you can reach out to me via e-mail at coaching@emilywilks.com

 

I'd love to hear from you!

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© 2020 by Emily Wilks

Melbourne, Australia.

DISCLAIMER: This is a personal website. Any views or opinions represented in this forum are personal and belong solely to the owner and do not represent those of people, institutions or organisations that the owner may or may not be associated with in a professional or personal capacity, unless explicitly stated. Any views or opinions are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organisation, company or individual.